A Simple Exercise to Do When You're Frustrated and Hating Your Kids

You hate to admit it.

And you’re super embarrassed to say so.

But sometimes … you feel like you hate your kid! If you’re a teacher then this could apply to your students!

Being a parent or teacher can put so much weight on your mind that it feels too much to bear.

So when this thought crosses your mind it feels powerful and real.

I’d like you to know that feeling that way is completely normal!

And there is a way to deal with it!

In the video below you'll learn a simple exercise, what I call the Rule of Three, that you can use to quickly move through this emotion!

Insight Into Action!

Parents: How can you remind yourself to do the Rule of 3 in your moments of frustration?

Teachers: When do you feel most frustrated with your students? How can you turn those feelings around?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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How Kids Know if They Should Listen to You

Do you ever feel like a broken record when you talk to your kids?

Over and over and over again you tell them to do something … and then they never do it!

Then you're left feeling disrespected and frustrated.

The thing is, your small beings won't listen if they don't believe you.

Be honest! Do you really mean, “It’s time for dinner?” Do you start screaming for them to come 10 minutes before dinner is actually ready because you expect them not to listen?

The only way to get your kiddos to listen is for you to say things that you actually mean.

When you don’t feel strongly about a rule, small beings sense that and respond accordingly.

If you don’t believe me, then hear it from a kid. Today, the Behavior + Beyond resident small being tells you why you better believe in what you say before you give direction to a small being.

Insight Into Action!

Parents: What is one common request you make of your small being that they often ignore? How can you be more clear in your directions?

Teachers: What is one common frustration with student behavior? How can you be more clear in your direction before the behavior happens?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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Help! I Feel Like My Kid’s Maid

It seems like everywhere kids go they leave a trail of mess behind them that adults must clean.

A defeated parent wrote to me: “Help! I feel like my kid’s maid!”

And I could understand her pain.

Many parents and even teachers feel that they spend most of their time cleaning their child’s mess instead of enjoying their company.

Are you in this category? If so, you’re going to love this month’s Dr. Marcie Ask Me Anything.  

In this blog you’ll find out exactly what to say to avoid this situation and the concrete steps to take to make the mess train stop!

Click below to get essential strategies to stop acting like a maid for your small beings and get back to being their parent or a teacher.

Insight Into Action!

Parents: What is one activity that you can try giving clean, concrete suggestions to your small being?

Teachers: What's the next lesson you can implement solid directions for clean up?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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How to Tell Your Child “No” to a Snack at Mealtime … or to Anything!

Kids have impressive negotiation abilities; I am often in awe of their stamina in arguing their point.

Just because a small or medium being likes to argue doesn’t mean that they dictate the rules.

Your child might demand a snack before mealtime, for example. The strength of her whines should not determine if she gets a cookie or not, because if you relent here’s what she learns: forcefully whining works.

You are the parent. You are the teacher. When you stick to your word, when you use my principle “mean what you say,” you stop that little negotiator in her tracks!

And you don’t have to be a general to make this happen!

Does this seem like it’s an impossible dream?

I’ve demonstrated how this works to many, many parents in my private sessions.

So I asked the Behavior + Beyond resident actress to help me demonstrate this principle for all of the people who haven’t seen it implemented in-person.

Click below to see a behavior demonstration that will give you the strategies you need to be a far superior negotiator than your child.

Insight Into Action!

Parents: Pick a day that you will stay firm in your rules around dinner time. Stick to doing so!

Teachers: Where do you usually cave with your students? Pick one place to set firm boundaries and work every day to stick to it.

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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How Lack of Clarity Can be the Reason Your Kids Aren't Listening to You

Kids are always listening!

Whether they show it or not, they’re tuned into everything you do and say.

So when you say something that is approximately true, for example “dinner will be in a minute” when it is actually ready in five or ten minutes, your kids will get confused.

They’ll also learn that you don’t always mean what you say.

Speaking with purpose is one of my cardinal principals because children will not listen when they do not trust your word. (Click to Tweet)

Don’t take my word for it! I recently asked our resident actress to tell you herself.

Click below to find out why kids think that clarity is important.

Insight Into Action!

Parents: How can you be more consistent with what you say to your children?

Teachers: How can you follow through more on what you say to your students? 

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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Are You Teaching Your Kid to Lie?

Watching people move through Central Park is my favorite reality show.

The other day I was watching this dad with his two kiddos walk through the park and stop for a picnic. The small ones were about six and eight years old. They were right at that age when they’re learning to really get under each other’s skin.

I could just tell that the two siblings were gearing up for a massive fight. Sure enough, within a few minutes they starting shouting, so the dad had to break it up. He then turned to the oldest, “Why did you start this fight?”

What I saw unfold was masterful; this kid deserved a Golden Globe! The older sister started to cry and launched into a long, dramatic story about a friend at school who was giving her trouble, how her feelings were hurt, and how she felt helpless. The dad dropped the sibling fight from the conversation and started to comfort her. His daughter essentially engineered an escape with a popular tactic amongst kids: cry and dad will cave.

Having seen this situation unfold countless times in my private work with families I had serious doubts that the story was completely true. She very well may have twisted a small incident into a reason to get her father off her back.

In this case, she’s learning that altering the truth, lying (!), is a worthwhile solution to a problem and sanctioned by her parent.

I wondered: How else are we teaching our kids to lie?


Today I talk about the small ways that you may be encouraging the small beings in your life to hide from the truth.  

Click below to find out how.

Insight Into Action!

Parents: What is one way you stay on track when your little one uses tears to get what they want?

Teachers: How do students in your classroom avoid giving you the truth because it is easier to lie?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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For real-life behavior help that actually works, check out the Behavior Boost course here:

 
 

What You Expect From Kids vs. What Kids Are Actually Like

Isn’t it an amazing relief to meet someone in the world with a similar outlook? What a relief to meet a comrade in this crazy world!

When I read Brandi Davis’ article on The Elf on the Shelf (super funny!) I knew that I had to learn more about her work. It turns out we were branches on the same child behavior tree!

We both find that there’s an incredible disconnect between how behavior operates and how parents expect their kids to behave, so we decided to create an interview which will help anyone who has and/or works with kids.

In this video discussion you’ll hear how the more you know what to expect the more you can be consistent and change your children’s behavior for the better!

Insight Into Action!

Parents: What is one way you can get away from rewards systems with your children?

Teachers: How can you shift your behavior plans so they include more long-lasting strategies rather than tactics?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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How to Instill Good Eating Habits in Your Kids

Cinco de Mayo is just a few days away. How are you planning on celebrating?

I never miss this chance to drink sangria and catch up with friends. This year I have a friend who is having a party. I’m bringing guacamole because I am in love (!) with avocados.

Luckily for me, drinking pitchers of Sangria and eating buckets of guacamole is not an everyday occurrence. That would not bode well for my health and well being. My take on it is that if you know the rules then you can make exceptions.  

This is something to teach our small beings. The May Dr. Marcie Ask Me Anything is about good food habits with your small ones.

Click below to find out how!

Insight Into Action!

Parents: What is one way you can improve your child's eating habits?

Teachers: How can you talk about healthy eating in your classroom?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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What Kids Want Adults to Know About Enforcing Rules

Want a secret?

I’ll share one if you promise not to tell.

Once a week I have ice cream – for dinner! 

Even worse, I usually have midnight cookie: chocolate mint ice cream with Oreo cookies mixed in. It’s sinfully good and I smile at every bite.

It’s not the healthiest habit, but it makes me so happy. I feel like a little kid tiptoeing to the freezer for an extra scoop.

What an even BIGGER secret? I secretly wish someone would stop me from eating ice cream for dinner. I know it’s not good for me and I’d love for someone to save me from myself!

Having spent so much time with small beings, I’ve learned a few of the secrets they don’t ever tell their parents or teachers. One is that they truly want the adults in their lives to enforce the rules!

Who knew?!

Click below to find out for yourself direct from a kid!

Insight Into Action!

Parents: How can you remind yourself when you encounter resistance from your small being that they actually want you to enforce the rules?

Teachers: When have you recognized your students wanting you to enforce the rules?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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How to Get Your Kids to Listen

Have you ever watch Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dance? It’s beautiful and mesmerizing! They seamlessly respond to the tiniest of signals like they’re reading each other’s minds.

This is how behavior works between you and your small being! Your small being does something and you take it as a signal to respond. The action you take in turn provides clues to your small being about how to react. And so the dance goes on and on and on.

Just like Fred and Ginger, the moment one of you changes direction, the other one is impacted. Your course shifts as you adjust to each other.

So then what’s happening between you and your small being when problem behavior occurs?

It appears that your small being is simply not listening to you. True.

But is there something more going on? 

Click below to find out how to start feeling like your small being is listening to you.

Insight Into Action!

Parents: What is one tiny step you will take towards making your words match your actions?

Teachers: How can you interpret this concept to your classroom?

 

With a little help we can all grow. If a special person in your life can use this information, then please forward this blog.

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