This past Saturday, what did you do? I had the pleasure of spending this marvelous Saturday at Bend and Bloom, a wonderful yoga studio in Park Slope, Brooklyn. I held a workshop for parents, talking about behaviors and problem solving specific strategies that be best for the specific behavior problems. My goal was for the parents present to go leave with clear actions they could take to change the challenging behaviors in their home. Here are three strategies from the workshop:
1. Be clear. If you as the big being are not clear about your message, it is impossible for anyone else, especially a small being, to follow. Everyday we provide statements and questions that have contradictions in them. For example: "Come on, its time to leave the park, or do you want 10 more minutes?". Which is it? Either it is time to leave or your small being can have 10 more minutes. Both can not happen. Decide on the action you are putting into motion and speak with clarity. This does not mean you can not give choices. If you are giving a choice, you need to use clear language to indicate it is a choice.
2. Talk Less. Often after challenging behavior, we want to talk with our small and medium size beings about what happened. We want to understand why. Frequently it is hard for small and medium beings to articulate or explain. Trying to have your small or medium being answer questions can prove to be a frustrating situation for everyone, especially in the moments right after it all happened. Provide clear consequences (both positive and negative) for actions. Once it is done and the consequence is in place, let it be done. Move on in conversation and action.
3. Set up with positive expectations. When entering into a situation that may be challenging for your small being, how do you talk about it? We need to prepare them. Work on preparing them with positive do's and avoid the conversation that highlights the negative. When we talk about what the can do and what we be fantastic to do, it reminds all of us how to engage in these behaviors. Talking about what not to do and how hard it was last time, only hurts the situation.
This past Saturday was beautiful and sunny here in New York City. Were you considering coming to this workshop and ultimately decided to spend the day outside? If you did, I certainly understand. Here is the good news, there are more to come! Once a month I will be offering a Behavior Basics for Parents Workshop. Come and ask me about the challenges you face at home with your small beings! The next one will be Thursday, June 5th at 6:30pm. This one will be held at Two Moon Cafe, also in Park Slope Brooklyn. Check out my events page for registration and future dates: www.BehaviorAndBeyond.net/event/
Are you a professional (classroom teacher, speech therapist, dance teachers...) and find yourself facing behavior challenges? I have a monthly workshop for you also! The next one is tonight at 7pm, which I am excited to say has sold out. Come next month on Tuesday, June 10th. To register and find future dates go to www.BehaviorAndBeyond.net/event/