Solving a Behavior Mystery

Last week I talked to you about becoming a Behavior Detective.  If you missed it, make sure to check it out.  

How is it going?  Are you getting better at guessing why behaviors are happening?

Once you start to see why behaviors are happening, then you are ready to start solving the mystery and changing behavior.  One reason that understanding behavior is fundamental is that it allows you to be more understanding and compassionate.  It is easier for you as a big being to be patient when you understand the behavior of your small being.  If you knew that your small being is yelling about not wanting to do his homework simply because he is frustrated with his math skills, then wouldn't you be more patient when asking him to do it?

A second way that understanding behavior is foundational is that it ensures that we can meet the needs of our small beings once their negative behavior has subsided.  Take the math example: You know that math is challenging for your small being, so once the yelling has stopped and he is about to start doing his homework, you might offer help and support before he asks for it.

The third reason that understanding the "why" behind behaviors is so essential is that you can start to anticipate behaviors that may arise -- and avoid them.  Sticking with the homework example, if you know that your small being will engage in undesirable behavior because he is struggling to understand math, you can find a creative solution to help him. You may make sure that you are fully available during math homework time or hire a math tutor. Before asking your small being to do his math homework you can let him know that help is on the way, removing the reason for the tantrum. Notice, I did not take away the math homework, the thing that is hard for your small being,  I only took away the reason for negative behavior.

As big beings it is our role to teach and support our small beings in doing hard work and facing challenges in life.  It is not our duty to remove those challenges. (Click to Tweet)

Ideas into Action: 

Action step for this week:  Identify two negative behaviors, then think about the "why" behind those behaviors. What is a way to teach your small beings to have different behaviors given the same challenging situation? 

 

Leave your feedback, experiences and thoughts in the comment section below this post or email me directly at DrMarcie@BehaviorAndBeyond.net with your behavior insights!

With a little help we can all grow. Keep checking in weekly for more parenting insights at Behavior and Beyond. For personal insights that I only share with my email list, please join my confidential email list below.