The subject of this article is meant for you: I want you to stop having tantrums! Yes, you, the big being reading this post, seriously, cut it out already!
The number one frustration that I hear from parents is that their children tantrum. Yet, the number one thing that I help parents do is stop their having their own tantrums.
Adult tantrums defined: Any time a big being yells, screams, shouts or makes threats at their small being(s). Most often a big being does this in reaction to a small being's behavior. Adult tantrums can also include more aggressive behaviors of throwing, hitting or being physically aggressive to your small being(s) - these are harder for big beings to face as they do not want to admit that they took such actions against the small beings they love.
I know – you are frustrated and exhausted and have tried everything to improve your small being's behavior. You're at your wit's end. You know when you yell it works....but you do know deep down that it really doesn't....
I will tell you the same thing I say to small being – it is okay for you to feel the way you do, but it is not okay for you to have a tantrum. (Tweet)
What you're actually doing is modeling for your small being that it is okay to yell. You are modeling that it is okay to lose your temper and control. You are giving the message that there is no better way to behave. None of which is true!
You need to find a better way to manage your frustration and anger. Find the right channel to discipline your small being. Be proactive so neither of you lose your temper. Stay calm so you can clearly address the situation at hand.
You don’t know how to do it better? Well, good thing you are here reading this – I can help! I know you can be the big being you have dreamed of! This blog has plenty of useful insights, as well as my workshops and programs.
That brings me to...your action step!
Ideas into Action!
This is a two-part challenge:
1) Email me your biggest behavior challenge – I will provide hands on suggestions in a future blog post, while maintaining your confidentiality! Consider this blog a resource for your behavior journey.
2) Next time you loss your cool – stop yelling, take a deep breath and try a different behavior!
Leave your feedback, experience and thoughts in the comment section below this post or email directly at DrMarcie@BehaviorAndBeyond.net with your behavior insights!
With a little help we can all grow. Keep checking in weekly for more parenting insights at Behavior and Beyond. For personal insights that I only share with my email list, please join my confidential email list below.