Ever feel like your small being created a rule in his or her mind and forgot to tell the rest of us? My guess is that there’s a good chance this creates challenging situations and behavior.
Many small beings will decide what should happen without all the facts. Then they have an incredibly hard time when their vision is not possible. Sound familiar?
Below are 2 of 5 strategies to help you create flexibility in your small being(s) when facing these type of situations! (And if you are not on the email list, make sure to sign up below to receive the rest of this three-part series over the next two weeks.)
1. Put down the crystal ball
Teach your small being that you cannot read their mind! Your small being may decide in advance how things should happen -- which path to take to school, what will be for dinner or what game you will play together. It is a decision they made in their head and it is critical that you teach them to share such thoughts. When your small being gets stuck on their idea of what should happen tell them “I didn’t know that” or “We need to decide that together.” The goal is for your small being to tell you what they want before it becomes a solidified rule. (Tweet)
2. Impart Perspective
Teach them that it is okay to have an idea about how things should happen and it is okay for the idea to not be what transpires. Let them know that it is an interesting thought and interesting way of doing it. Convey that their idea is a good one, that is not possible in that moment and fill them in on what will happen. Thank them for sharing their idea, as you want them to know their thoughts are valuable. The message you want to share is that it is okay for things to happen in a different way then they envisioned.
Ideas into action!
Today take one request or decision that your small being makes and do not go along with it. Preferably this is not a moment when you ask them a question but when they have decided independently what will happen. Maybe when they request cheese for a snack or to build with blocks. Let them know that it not a choice at the moment and work through having fruit for a snack instead or playing with dolls. The choice is not the important part, building the flexibility and sticking to what you say in the face of challenging behavior is the action step for you to take here!
Leave your feedback, experiences and thoughts in the comment section below this post or email me directly at DrMarcie@BehaviorAndBeyond.net with your behavior insights!
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