Do you have a best friend -- one that you grew up with and are still really close too? Remember when you would dream about growing up and having kids around the same age? Remember you both dreaming that you would each have kids who would grow up to be best friends just like you were?
And the dream came true! You live near this friend and you both have kids the same age.
Yet, the dream didn't turn out like you had hoped; you think that one or both of her kids are the devil incarnate. Her parenting skills are good....so her small beings must actually be possessed! You don’t want your kids around that influence but, you don’t want to give up your friend by telling her the truth. So what do you do?
Here are some behavioral tips to help you craft your next steps:
1. Remember that all kids are good! Even when their actions or behavior is bad, there is still goodness inside each and every small being. (Tweet) What is the evil behavior that you are witnessing?
2. All behavior has a reason/function. Since all behavior is filling a need, what purpose does the evil behavior serve? There are only four choices to this question: for attention, for escape, because it feels good or medical (in which case you need an medical doctor instead of a behavioral doctor).
3. See it from the small being's perspective. All beings want to be part of a group and to be accepted, even when it does not look that way! No one likes to get in trouble, if they are acting out it is because they do not know any other way to get their needs met. This small being is struggling to understand the world around them.
4. When any person spends time around your small being(s) you are allowed to make the rules. Be direct and clear about the expectations and acceptable behavior. Also be clear about the consequences if the expectations are not met. Make sure you mean what you say and say what you mean. (Take #3 into consideration)
5. Find an honest way to talk with your friend. If you are worried about her small beings behavior, then there is a good chance that she may also have similar concerns. Be understanding and sympathetic, as well as kind in the conversation. Think about it: If you were the parent of a small being who everyone was worried about, wouldn’t you want a friend to talk to?
6. Send this friend one of my blog posts, perhaps the one about my three basic rules for epic behavior transformation.
With some small steps in the right direction you can start to love spending time with this friend again!
Ideas into action!
1) Have you encountered this situation and had it successfully work out – without simply avoiding the small being?
If so, share your story in the comments section! Your success story will inspire others.
2) Think about the one small being you tend to avoid – can you see the way he or she is actually struggling in the world?
Leave your feedback, experience and thoughts in the comment section below this post or email directly at DrMarcie@BehaviorAndBeyond.net with your behavior insights!
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