Proactive tools to keep anxiety low and joy high
| Proactive vs Reactive responses Ever since I sent you the email a few weeks ago about my bookshelf, I have been thinking about my own anxiety. The tools I used (and shared) in that moment were reactive. As in, I used them when I felt super anxious. If you know me, if we have worked together, if you have seen me speak, you know that I much rather use proactive tools. As in, strategies I use all the time to help me stay balanced, grounded, and clear (AKA less anxious). I kept my eyes open for an experience to share, and I found one that makes me laugh out loud. Hope you enjoy it also! Here we go… I had plans with a friend earlier this week to meet for hot chocolate and a walk. It was cold, so we were going to bundle up and brave the sunny, yet chilly New York streets. The day we planned to meet, she texted, “You still up for meeting? I want to warn you, I have a cold. So no hugging.” I had been dreaming of the hot chocolate all morning, so I was in! Yet her cold gave me pause. Should I say no? I don’t want to get sick. Should I say yes? We would be outside and not sharing food. I decided it was worth the risk, and was still ok going for a walk with her. After all, she felt good enough to head into the wild streets of Brooklyn; she couldn’t be that sick. In my head that translated into less risk of her being very contagious. I texted back, “You can’t get me sick! I’m sooooooooo healthy  “She laughed. We set the time and place to meet, and off we went! We didn’t hug or try each other’s hot chocolate. Though she did get salted caramel, and I kinda wanted to try it. We had a great walk! It’s been a few days, and I’m still healthy. |
| Let me explain… This is a proactive tool, I promise. Yes, germs are real. No, we can’t just decide not to get sick. The story is not actually about my friend’s cold or me not getting it. It is how I navigated a decision, how I made a choice and then decided to embrace my decision. How I used my words to help me feel good about my decision. Let me explain. When my friend shared that she was sick, I got to decide. Do I go and risk getting sick myself? Do I reschedule and wait to see her till she is healthy? Both are good decisions. I decided to take the risk and see her. Once I made that decision, I could have been worried about getting sick. Telling her, ok, but we need to stand a little far apart or reinforce the no hugs. I could have spiraled in my own head if it was the right choice. I could have spent days looking for signs that I was getting her cold and beating myself up for the decision I made. I didn’t do any of that! This time…there certainly are times when I do. Once I made my decision, I leaned in. I said to my friend and to myself, I am healthy! I decided I was going to stay that way. I could have been wrong. There was a big chance I was wrong and would have ended up with a cold. I made the declaration about my health so that I could feel good about my decision. So that I could go for the walk without anxiety. So that the next few days, I had peace of mind as I repeated to myself, I am healthy. I saved myself not from being sick but from several days of stress and anxiety. That peace of mind is what I created with my text stating that I as sooooooo healthy. Sometimes I call circumstances like this magic. Sometimes I call it manifestation. Sometimes I call it luck. Sometimes I admit the truth: this experience is simply a proactive behavior strategy that helps my mental health thrive. |
| Golden Nuggets: 1. Words make worlds. As you head into the last few weeks of 2025, consider what decisions you are making and how you can lean into them once you decide. What words can you use to remind yourself that it was a good decision? Bring in enthusiasm and positive language to help you feel good about whatever you do! 2. Use proactive tools. There will always be moments when we need reactive tools; that is the nature of life. Taking time to hone proactive tools will make those moments easier for two reasons. First, you will have a tool you have practiced putting in place and using. Second, you will have more capacity to navigate the situation. If we walk through each day with proactive tools in hand, we have more energy for the reactive and significant moments. 3. Magic and science go hand in hand. Over the past few months, I have said more than a few times, magic is real. Because it is 🙂 This story felt like magic to me. I got to see my friend, get some exercise, and stay healthy. All things that make my heart happy. It was also science. I washed my hands after I saw her, didn’t get too close, and upped my vitamin C for a few days after. The tool I used helped my body be less stressed, which boosted my immune system. Let yourself be playful and believe in magic, while also having a clear sense of facts and truth. |
| One step at a time Given all that happened in the world this past week, I considered sharing something reflective of all the heartbreak. A story that felt more significant and impactful. Yet, as I sat the past few days thinking about what to send you I thought two things: 1. Overall, we are overly saturated with the news. I don’t need to highlight it here. 2. This IS how we make the heartbreak better. While it feels like an insignificant moment. What did it matter what I decided about a walk? It is powerful to be kind to myself. The kindness inside my own head trickles out to how I treat others. It is hard to be kind, joyful, and pleasant to others when I am fighting in my own head. Using strategies that bring more peace within myself will bring more peace to the people I engage with. This creates a ripple that will be more peaceful to the world. This is a small step that I can take to make the world a better place. You can take the same step. Find moments when you can use the golden nuggets. Remember that how you treat yourself is reflected in how you treat others. Be kind to yourself and to those around you. May this be a part of how we make the world a better place! |
Add A Comment