How I am slowing down
| Is time moving faster? It feels like time is moving faster. Like each day is fuller. Like my to-do list is getting longer. Like my time is spread thinner. While I am loving the spring weather in New York, I keep thinking, ‘How is it May already?’ Once my day is started if feels like I just keep. One session leading to the next. One appointment is scheduled against another. Travel time in between includes crossing my fingers that the subway is running smoothly because I have no buffer time. Is this just me? |
| Full with good things is still full… These very full days are full of (mostly) things that I love and enjoy. I love the work I do with families and am grateful I get to do this as a living. I love the network of professionals that I now get to connect with to collaborate and socialize. I love the speaking engagements and the setup work to bring it together. I love consulting with schools and supporting teachers in the classroom. I love the dinners with friends. I love the time at the gym. The list could go on, but I think you get the point. I am so grateful to have a life full of work and connections that delight me. Yet, my days are still feeling full and I was starting to feel stretched thin. |
| Then I heard myself As this full feeling was growing, I found myself in a session saying to a client, “Do you ever just sit and look out the window for 30 seconds?” They said no, and I thought in my head, ‘yeah, me neither’. The conversation continued, and we ended up spending 30 seconds looking out the window together. A first practice. I meditate most mornings and thought that was all I needed. Though after the session, I kept thinking about those 30 seconds and how spacious they felt. No phone, no computer, no efforting. Just looking at the tree outside my window and breathing. It felt divine! So, I have started taking more moments like this. Slowing down in the middle of full days. The time between when I open the Zoom room and my client shows up, I look at the art above my computer rather than check one more email. Waiting for the subway, I take 5 deep breaths before I take out my phone. When I walk into my kitchen for lunch, I pause for something like 15 seconds and look at the tree outside. At crosswalks, when I wait for the light to change, I ask myself how I am feeling and pause to feel the answer. |
| Golden Nuggets: 1. Slowing down doesn’t need to take a long time. It is a decision to take the moment to slow down, rather than being about creating time. You have small moments when you could shift for a breath or three, and it is about finding those moments and deciding to use the time differently. 2. Sometimes we need more than one tool. I was already meditating and thought that was enough. Yet, these slow moments are really supporting me in a different way. It is ok to need more than one tool at a time. 3. Listen to the sticky moments. The moments that you keep thinking about often have wisdom in them, so pay attention. I kept thinking about those 30 seconds of looking out the window, and it was my brain asking for more. What wisdom is in the moments you keep thinking about? |
| One step at a time… My goal is 1-3 slow moments a day. Moments when I am not reviewing my to-do list, not scrolling on my phone, not answering emails, not in action in all the very important ways I need to be in action. Maybe it totals 2 minutes of my day. When I do, I can feel the difference. I feel clearer. I feel more like myself. I feel more present for the action items that follow. I’m staying curious about how these small moments will evolve. Maybe your one small step today is to close your eyes right now and take 5 deep breaths. Look up from your computer and just be for a minute. Maybe you share this concept in your next meeting and try it together. Awkwardly sit in silence while looking at the window. Then see what that shifts for each of you. Maybe you find one moment where you will pause, like every time you get in your car, before you start driving to ask yourself how you are doing. Get creative and see where small moments of slowing down can help your full life feel more spacious! |
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| Join my Substack Parenting Adult Children This week I talk about the difference between sympathy, empathy, and compassion. |
