Celebrating Feels Complicated
| Thinking about life as Either/Or Last week was my birthday! If you have been around me in the month of July, you know that I LOVE my birthday. Truth is, I LOVE ALL birthdays! Birthdays feel like a chance to celebrate an individual, simply for being alive for another year. I believe that this world would be a better place if we celebrated more and celebrated each other more. Birthdays feel like the perfect moment to do just that. So I tend to celebrate my birthday all month long. Finding joy simply because I am alive! This year, it feels a bit complicated. Given all that is unfolding in the world, it feels hard to close the news, turn away from the struggles, and put down the pain. For me it feels a bit like I shouldn’t celebrate when there are so many heartbreaking experiences happening for so many. I also know that if I only sit in the pain, I will collapse under the weight of it. The world is too heavy for me to just feel the pain. We are not built to feel either the good or the bad. We are built to feel both – deeply. Over the past several months I have been feeling the pain deeply. In individual ways as I help clients through struggles in their own homes and hearts. In big ways as I support communities face heartbreaking situations and devastating loss. In my own personal life as I find ways to contribute to change for causes that are important to me. So, I decided to take a break for my birthday this year and deeply celebrate. Remembering that life is not either/or, it is actually both/and. We can feel pain and joy. We can feel loss and gratitude. We can celebrate while we struggle. |
| Finding Both/And In order to do this, I went on vacation. I went to a corner of the world I had been to before and know it is a place that I can love. Having certainty that this vacation would be supportive for my system felt important. There were trees and the ocean. There were hot springs and yoga. I danced and hiked. I ate good food and met interesting people. I journaled and meditated. I turned my phone and computer off for 5 days. I gave myself permission to celebrate my birthday in all ways that felt good to my heart! Some moments I felt self conscious, asking myself is this ok? Is it really ok to hide from the world? Is it really ok to feel deep joy while others are suffering? I decided the answer to both these questions is YES! It is ok to hide from the world for a short amount of time – to recharge and refuel so that I am resourced for the hard moments that are part of life. I also had this deep reminder that it is important to feel joy in the moments we can. It is a privilege to be able to sit in nature and take time to reflect and feel all the goodness that is happening in the world. If I have that privilege, it is ok to create the positive experience. It is part of why suffering is so hard, because it is the lack of access to rest, to breaks, to hiding. So, I let myself enjoy my birthday week and all the beauty that surrounded me. I know what a gift it was. I know that not everyone can take such a beautiful vacation, time away, and time for themselves. Since I could, I did and it served me so well. |
| Golden Nugget of the Week: 1. Life is about having alllllllll the experiences. We live in a time of unspeakable pain and also unimaginable beauty. Find ways to enjoy them both. 2. Create joy in your life. This can be in small ways by having a 1 song dance party in your kitchen or appreciating the trees as you walk to work. This can be in big ways by taking a glorious vacation or turning off technology for an entire day. 3. Celebrate your birthday in a way that delights you! I am grateful you are alive and if you let me know when your birthday is, I would be delighted to celebrate it! Birthdays are filled with magic if we let ourselves feel it…make wishes, spend time with loved ones, and allow yourself to dream of what goodness life may be for the next year. |
| One Step at a Time We don’t know what comes next. Today, as I step back into the world with technology, as I catch up on emails and the news, as I come out of my birthday hiding, I am looking around my life and seeing more goodness. I am filled with more gratitude than I was a week ago. I can see the places in my life where I am so loved, supported, and abundant. Taking time away, let me clear away some of the negative build up that was fogging my view. My birthday wish is that you find moments of gratitude, appreciation, joy in your days. That you can wash away a bit of the negative buildup that does not need to be there and find more love in your life! |
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