I went to cardio dance This morning I got myself up, put on my workout clothes, and headed out the door. I was going to cardio dance. This isn’t my usual Friday morning workout, but I love to dance. So I happily headed to class and wondered what this summer Friday class would be like today. The music started, and we warmed up. It was a great vibe! Then 9 to 5 came on. The instructor started doing the steps, and I tried to follow. Usually, this is easy for me, but all of a sudden, I couldn’t focus. I realized my eyes were tearing up. I was confused; it was dance class. What were the tears about? Then I heard the music; Dolly Parton was singing. My heart felt heavy, and I let myself have this small moment of emotion. I did my best to keep up with the class and knew the feelings would pass. Another song came on, and I was back in step. The wave came and went. Two more songs and I was in a groove. Then Save the Last Dance came on, more Dolly. This time it was not just a few tears; they were streaming, and my chest felt so heavy. I breathed and kept dancing. One step at a time, letting the tears fall. Keeping my towel close so that I could pretend I was wiping away sweat, not tears. I was ok crying but didn’t want anyone else to notice. It felt like a private moment I wasn’t ready to share, even though I was in a room with 50 people. The rest of the class, I felt a little heavy, slower, less present. I kept dancing, kept moving my feet, kept breathing. For me, motion helps me move emotions. So, while I wanted to leave, go home, and curl up in bed. I knew the best thing I could do was keep dancing.

I don’t usually grieve for celebrities I don’t usually grieve for celebrities. I don’t often feel personally connected to famous people. I know many people do, but that’s not how I connect. Maybe that’s weird, and I’m ok with it. Usually, when I hear about a celebrity who had a long, full, beautiful life and passed away later in life, I often reflect on the gift they were to the world. Then move on. Yesterday, I heard that Dolly Parton had died, and it felt different. I was sad at the news. No tears, but I could feel the loss. One friend said, “She united everyone.” This feels so true; she was a force that could bring people together across divides. I was not a huge fan. I have seen a few movies she was in, know a few of her songs, and know of her generosity in the world. Never would have expected her death to be a source of grief for me. Yet, here we are.

Grief is personal and unique Since coming home from cardio dance, I have been thinking about Dolly Parton and grief. Sitting with my feelings and wondering what it all means. Here is what it feels like for me: Dolly is a symbol of strength paired with kindness. Dolly was a brilliant businesswoman. Dolly stood up for what she believed in. Dolly was true to herself. Dolly was kind. Dolly was passionate. Dolly balanced being center stage with making space for others. Dolly was generous, in life-changing ways Dolly allowed her success to enhance her life and the lives of so many others. Dolly created systems to change the world. Dolly sparkled. Dolly created art that touched lives. Dolly lived/loved with her whole heart. Dolly brought people together. Dolly built her legacy through warmth and compassion. Dolly cared about humans. Dolly made the world a better place. I don’t actually know a lot about Dolly Parton, and that is ok. It is not about fact-checking the details of her life. It is about holding the essence and the energy behind what she means. Perhaps a legacy is more about symbolism and intention.

Golden Nuggets: 1. Feelings can be surprising. Golly, I was taken aback as the tears came today. It was unexpected and inconvenient. Yet, I was also in a place where it was ok. If the tears came in the middle of a speaking engagement, I may have taken a different path, pushing them away till later. When emotion sneaks up on you, let yourself feel it or carve out time later to revisit it. I have learned a lot by letting myself ponder my grief about Dolly. My wish is that we all can create space to learn lessons from our feelings. 2. Grief can be weird. If you had asked me last week if I would be grieving Dolly Parton when she passed, I would have emphatically said no. Yet, here I am, having all the feels. What I am feeling is probably much larger than just her; her death simply opened the door. I am letting myself feel it all, even though it feels weird. Grief doesn’t have to make sense, follow logic, or be something you understand. It is part of being human and best navigated from the heart, not the mind. 3. Hold onto the positive legacy left behind. Maybe Dolly Parton does not resonate with you the way she does for me in this moment. That’s ok! What legacy do you want to build, and how do you take one step at a time to build it? Everything she created was done one piece at a time, one decision at a time, one action step at a time. Looking back, we can see how they all came together to create a life of impact and beauty. For yourself, for your family, for your community, take time to consider what steps you want to take to build a legacy that matters.

One step at a time… Grief, legacy, and Dolly Parton all feel intertwined for me right now. Maybe the small steps we take this week require us to pull them apart. Holding each piece at a time. Take time to sit with grief. We live in a world that doesn’t create much space for grief. I wonder what would change if we gave ourselves more time and more ways to consider grief. Grief is not something that happens with the death of loved ones. It happens through life transitions and changes. It comes with growth and evolution. Makes me wonder: Where are you grieving? What are you grieving? What might help you connect to your grief? As for legacy, it feels like a word that I hear in business development workshops. Leaders try to inspire people to build a legacy through their work in the world. Yet, I wonder what legacy you want to build for your life. Connected or separate from your career/job? What do you want to be remembered for? What ripples do you hope you create in the world? Creating legacy feels like taking one small step in that direction every chance you can. If you want to be remembered for your kindness, be kind. If you want to be remembered for your strength, be strong. If you want to be remembered for your joy, be joyful. Personally, I want to be remembered for my sparkles 😉 Maybe this conversation about Dolly Parton has sparked something in you. Maybe it is just a window into learning how to connect with your feelings or think about grief. Either way, I hope it has left you feeling something. My small step for today is to have a Dolly Parton dance party this afternoon and see what else unfolds…