No screens for 7 days…and I survived
| Talking about technology I’ve been talking a lot about technology over the last couple of months. If you don’t know, I work with parents to help bring more harmony and happiness into homes. Often, that looks like 1:1 sessions to talk about what is unfolding and work through action-based strategies to create positive change. As the school year came to a close and the summer began, there were countless conversations about technology. I found myself saying, “Screens tell our brains how to think and our bodies how to act,” over and over and over again. No matter the child’s age, this felt like an important part of the conversation. Parents can share with their children that technology is shaping their thoughts and actions. In some instances, it can be so easy to watch the connection. Have you ever started using a catchphrase from a TV show you have been binging? I certainly have! With kids, after watching certain cartoons or some video games, their desire to fight is much higher. It can also be subtle, adding to your depression because you don’t have a group of friends always waiting for you at the coffee shop downstairs like in Friends. Maybe that was just me? |
| Technology with intention The more this conversation came up in my sessions, the more I thought about it. Technology impacts all of us. It shapes how we think and how we act. This can open doors to new worlds and inspire amazing changes. It can also lead to crunchiness and shifts in our mood. Technology is simply a tool. Using it with intention is important. Unfortunately, I don’t always use it with intention. While I don’t want to speak for others, I don’t think I’m alone in this habit. It feels normal to simply turn on the TV and watch the latest trending show, without thinking about how it makes me feel. It was easy to scroll in bed at night because ‘I couldn’t sleep,’ but maybe the scrolling was keeping me up. As I talked with parents about how technology was shaping some of the behavior in their home, I realized it was also shaping mine in ways I didn’t like. |
| Then I went away… I had a trip to California planned. I was going to be in Big Sur, a place that does not have much (if any) cell service. The place where I was staying had no technology in the rooms. No phone, no TV, no clocks, no wifi. This was part of what made me want to go there. The grounds had wifi, only in one building. It was the building where we had meals. The wifi was off during meals. So, if I wanted, I could go between meals and check email or my phone…do anything that needed to be done. I made a decision, an intentional choice about technology. I decided not to use it all week. No email. No text message. No research about random questions. No scrolling at night. No checking the news. No taking pictures. No nothing. I wanted to see what it felt like without technology. How would I feel? Would my thoughts change? Would my actions change? I wanted to know. I wanted a reset. I also knew that because I was out of my normal life, it would be easier to step away from technology than at any other time. So, I did! No screens for 7 days! |
| What I learned The first few days were hard. I would reach into my bag for my phone to remember it wasn’t there. I would be talking with someone, and something would come up that we didn’t know. There was no googling it; we just let ourselves wonder. There was no checking in with loved ones to hear what was happening back home. It was weird! I stayed with it because I felt my brain slowing down. My thoughts were slowing down. My dreams started to change. Granted, I was also out in nature, near the ocean. Not in New York City. So that could have been part of it also. But not having technology opened my mind to creativity, to wonder, to moving more slowly. Coming back home, I am holding onto some of the habits. No phone before bed. The TV has not gone back on reflexively at the end of the workday. I am sitting in silence more, getting ready in the morning with just the sounds of the city and my air conditioner. I am pausing more between appointments, breathing slowly rather than rushing to check emails. My thoughts are about my life and what is happening with people around me. I’m not wondering what will happen to that character on the show I’m watching. I’m not itching to see the next post from an influencer I follow. I am not planning my next post or video. My mind feels more focused and clear. I know that technology will seep back into my life in unintentional ways. That is part of the dance. My hope is that I can find moments to step away again. Maybe not for 7 days, but for a few hours at a time to reset the relationship. |
| Golden Nuggets: 1. Technology impacts us. It is easy to think that technology is just for entertainment, but it’s not. It shapes how we see the world. We choose what we watch and who we follow because it resonates with us or informs us. It is bigger than that; it is helping reinforce and shape our thoughts, views, and perspective on the world. Keep this in mind as you engage with technology. Is it impacting you in a way that helps you be the best version of yourself? 2. Use technology with intention. Access has made it easy to engage with technology mindlessly. It is everywhere, from our desks to our pockets to the subway. Technology is part of modern life, and I’m grateful for all its benefits. We need to use it intentionally. What is an actual benefit for you? How is technology enhancing your life? Where do you want to keep using it, and where would it be beneficial to cut back? 3. Consider if taking a break is for you. For me, 7 days without technology was such a gift. This is not how it would feel for everyone. Maybe you have kids you want to say good night to each night, even when away. Maybe you need to support a loved one in an ongoing way. Maybe you have a career where this type of gap would have negative implications. I am not suggesting that you do what I did, unless you want to. I am suggesting you consider whether some type of break would help you. That could be an hour without screens as you sit in the park. That could be a morning of waking up and not looking at screens till noon. That could be a day that you step away. Decide for yourself what feels possible and productive. What would help you reset your relationship with screens and bring in more intention? |
| One step at a time… There were certainly hard moments as I stepped away from technology. It was weird, strange, and important. Looking back, it is easy for me to highlight the benefits. I just want you to be prepared: if you decide to take some type of break, there may be moments when you want to break that agreement with yourself. The first few days, I almost turned my phone back on. I wanted to play Connections and do the NYTimes crossword puzzle the first night. Yet, my desire to try no technology was stronger than my addiction to the games. If you decide to step away from technology for any amount of time, know these hard feelings may come up for you also. Know that you can sit with the discomfort and get through it. If I can do it, so can you! Whatever you decide, do it with intention. The next time you pick up your phone, ask yourself whether you did it out of habit or to do something meaningful. The next time you flip on the TV, ask yourself what you really want to watch. The next time you are scrolling, ask yourself what you are looking for and hoping to experience. Start thinking about how you use technology, in all forms. See what answers you get about what feels good, what feels important, what feels supportive, and what feels like a distraction; what shifts your mood after; what activates your emotions. Just like technology is always evolving, so are we and our relationship with it. Consider how to create a positive, productive, and supportive relationship with technology! |
