Who wants to remember a mistake? Or worse, to have to explain over and over again exactly what happened, rehashing everything you did wrong?

That sounds like torture to me, or at least extraordinarily annoying. Yet we do this to our small and medium beings all the time.

When there is problem behavior we talk about it over and over again. When there is a problem at school, we have to talk about it at home. When there is a problem at home, the small or medium being has to have a conversation with every parent. We ask them for the details over and over again.

This does not help.

This will not teach your small or medium being to do something different in the future, which  (ironically) is your goal.

To make the problem behavior become a learning moment, you need to change the conversation you have after problem behavior. (Click to Tweet)

To do this, simply stop asking why and what questions.

And start asking what could be done differently next time. Start practicing that new choice — right then. Don’t wait; recreate the situation and try it out. Ask your small being how it felt to do it differently. This kind of discussion reinforces good behavior instead of dwelling on the bad.

Insight Into Action!

Parents: What is one recurring behavior your small or medium being has? How can your small or medium being realistically approach the situation differently?

Teachers: What is one way we can shift your behavior plant to be action-oriented rather than discussion-oriented?


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