My Mistake – I decided to problem solve, not panic
| I will always say yes to puzzles Mistakes happen in all sizes, big and small. The tools are the same, no matter the size of the mistake. I am going to share a story today about a small mistake because it may make it easier to see the tools, the impact, and stay calm. My hope is to provide a bit of entertainment while showing you how we can navigate problems of every size! You may know, I LOVE puzzles! I delight in taking a pile of chaos and turning it into a beautiful picture. Puzzles help me feel organized and calm my nervous system. I love that all the pieces have their own unique spot; no two can be in the same place at the same time. A friend, let’s call her Sally, asked if I wanted to be part of a Galentine’s Day puzzle swap. Of course, I provided an enthusiastic YES! The plan was for an easy puzzle swap, exchanging puzzles that we each had at home. No buying new puzzles or searching for a gift, loved this idea. Sally lives in a different state, and I don’t know many of her friends. So, I would most likely be sending a puzzle to a stranger, and a stranger would be sending a puzzle to me. This made it even more fun…making new connections felt like a great bonus. About fifteen people said yes to the puzzle swap. On February 1st, Sally loaded all our names into an app that randomly matched us with someone to send a puzzle. Sally texted me the name and address of who I was to send my puzzle to. My puzzle was going to Barbara. I asked for a few details about this person because I had a few puzzles to pick from and wanted help deciding which would be best. I was set! Then, I got another text from Sally asking if I knew anyone else who would want to join the puzzle swap. Apparently, someone just texted her asking if it was too late to join. I did! My friend Jane! Sally and Jane didn’t know each other, and that made this even more fun to me. I sent Sally Jane’s information (name and address). Sally texted me Jane’s match, Lynya. I sent Lynya’s information to Jane, and we were set! I know, this is a lot of names…for the story, all that is important for you to remember is that I was matched with Barbara, and Jane was matched with Lynya. Over the next few days, I gather my puzzle and a few other treats to add to the box. I know, it was only supposed to be a puzzle, but I couldn’t help adding a bit more sparkle to the box. I added edible glitter, a face mask, and some rose quartz. Adding stickers to the outside before mailing it off. I picked out a card and boxed everything up. I couldn’t remember who I was sending it to. So I scrolled up through my text messages, found Lynya’s name and address, filled in the card, and addressed the box. In the card, I added my number, so they could let me know the box arrived safe and sound. Off to the post office to send my puzzle to Lynya. |
| My puzzle landed… This Monday, I got a text from an unknown number. It was my puzzle swap match, Lynya, and she loved her puzzle! She was excited to do the face mask that night. It was so fun to know that my puzzle was received with such enthusiasm. So, I texted Sally to celebrate. She was delighted and commented that it was magical timing because Jane’s puzzle box also was receive that day and Lynya loved it. Ohhhhh noooooo. This was the moment I realized that my box was not supposed to go to Lynya, my puzzle was supposed to go to Barbara. In all the enthusiasm of putting together my puzzle box, I forgot that I had two sets of names and addresses in my text thread from Sally. I just found the first address, and off my box went. For a moment, I panicked. Then I realized Lynya received only 1 box today, mine. I shifted to problem-solving mode. I thought through the options. Maybe Jane hadn’t sent her puzzle yet and she could send hers to Barbara. Maybe Jane has already sent her puzzle to Lynya, and I could send a second puzzle to Barbara the next day. Maybe something else could happen. First things first, I need information. I needed to know if Jane had sent out her box. I called Jane urgently to ask if she mailed out her puzzle yet. She said she was getting it together and planned to mail it out in the morning. This was amazing news! I explained to Jane what I did. We both laughed and realized it was perfect that she hadn’t mailed her puzzle yet. She was happy to send her puzzle to Barbara. I texted her Barbara’s address. This moment, which could have been terrible, was fine. Ok, well, maybe not terrible, we are only talking about a puzzle swap. It could have been unfortunate. If we didn’t figure it out, one person would have received 2 puzzles and another person would have received none. With great relief, I shared with Sally what just unfolded. She laughed so hard and said she could see herself doing the same thing. |
| Golden Nuggets: 1. Don’t Panic. When things don’t go as planned, when there is a mistake, often the first reaction is panic. Panic is an automatic physiological response that can help if you are in physical danger, but does not help with many modern problems. Pause, take a breath, and tell your body to relax so you can think more clearly. 2. Problem-solving is powerful. Every problem has multiple solutions. Give yourself permission to problem-solve. You won’t have the immediate right answer or next step; you need to think through the different paths forward. Maybe what happened is undoable or shiftable, like in my story. Maybe asking for help is needed to problem-solve. Maybe a creative solution needs to be brainstormed. Maybe an apology is needed. Allow space for problem-solving to happen. 3. Own your mistakes. Many of us have been taught that mistakes are bad, myself included. I have learned this is not true; mistakes are part of life and very human. Admitting you made a mistake, so things go differently in the future, allows fixes to come together and for others to remember this is part of life. Mistakes don’t always feel good to our system because we equate them with being bad, rewire this for yourself by owning your mistake with humility and a growth mindset. 4. Laugh at yourself. Laughter is so healing. Not all mistakes can be laughed at so quickly, sometimes we need time to get past them. Though many things in life are not as serious as they feel in the moment. Make sure you take time to step back, gain perspective, and bring levity where possible. When you can use humor over shame; laughter over guilt; and joy of learning over regret of not being perfect. |
| One step at a time My experience had magical timing – the fact that my puzzle arrived the day before Jane was sending hers out, aligned with Lynya’s timing of texting about her receiving it so promptly. It felt like everything fell into place, making the shift to the puzzle swap a delightful experience for everyone! That timing doesn’t always happen, but it probably happens more than you see. When mistakes happen, we tend to focus on all the pieces that went wrong and not the pieces that came together to support problem-solving and resolution. For today’s small set, I encourage you to look for the magical timing in your life. The synchronicities that bring together something special. This may be easier to practice outside of mistakes first. Notice when you bump into a friend unexpectedly or when someone calls right when you were thinking of them. Notice when the lights are all green as you drive to work or when the prefect parking spot appears in a very full lot. Notice when a stranger smiles at you, or there is a moment of peace and quiet right when you need it. Finding these moments in everyday life will make it easier to find them when mistakes happen. They happen to me all the time, mostly because I look for them. I know they happen to you too; you just need to start recognizing them. There are lots of other small steps that you could do from this story, also: Do a puzzle swap with a friend Send some sparkles in the mail to someone you know could use a bit more sparkle Ask for help Laugh at yourself Be kind to yourself when you make a mistake Learn that mistakes are a moment to learn Be joyful when someone else makes a mistake Breathe in hard moments As always, these are suggestions for the small step you can take. The most important part is not which step you take, it is that you take a step. So pick one and take one small step because it will lead to big change before you know it! |
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