Goals can be complicated
| New Years Resolutions Usually, I am not a big New Year’s resolutions kind of gal. Mostly cause I think they are cheesy and don’t really work. Resolutions tend to be big dreams, filled with enthusiasm and little practicality. That said, this year I did set some goals! Did you? I wonder if my experience is the same as yours. For several months now, I have been thinking about creating a Substack account. Not moving this list over there, don’t worry, I am keeping this email list the same 🙂 I had been thinking about creating a Substack to talk about parenting adult children. I am working with more and more families who have 25 year old or 34 year old or 45 year old kids living at home, and their kids are struggling. You may be one of them, and these emails can certainly help you! Yet there is not a lot of information out there for parents of adult children that focuses on how to best parent in this day and age. So I want to provide a resource. A space for parents to learn more about parenting adult children. I have never used Substack, so I didn’t know where to begin. I kept avoiding it and putting it off. Questioning if I really should be doing this. No matter how much I resisted, the thought kept coming back, “Marcie, start a Substack for parents of adult children.” This became my New Year’s resolution. To start, even though I don’t feel ready. To start, even though I don’t feel confident. To start, even though I’m not sure how to begin. |
| So I took one small step! I didn’t sit down on New Year’s Day and start writing. I gave myself a week to adjust to the idea, read a few articles about Substack, and roam around the platform. Then, I did it! I created a stack called Parenting Adult Children. I posted a photo, created a bio, and wrote my first article. I was soooooo proud of myself. I sent it to a few friends and my mom. Asking, with a bit of hesitation, what they thought. It was all positive feedback! Except for the recommendation to use fewer exclamation points, which is hard for me, I love enthusiasm!!! Then, I froze. I have not written another article. I have not shared it with anyone else. I have not opened up the platform to see what is going on. I just froze. Yes, I have had ideas for articles. I even have notes written on my phone from subway rides where the ideas feel so clear. Yet, I have not done anything more. Today, I am recommitting. I am taking another small step. I am telling you about my Substack! If you want to join me over there, please do! Here is the link; it is free to subscribe. If you know someone who is parenting an adult child and could benefit from joining me on Substack, please share it with them. If there is a parenting group for your work where you want to post it, that would be amazing also. My intention is to write one article a week on Substack. Sharing tools, strategies, frameworks, and concepts to help parents of adult children. My hope is to answer questions and help these parents as they support their children. Starting something new feels hard. I am working on being brave and staying motivated. I know that getting stuck, doubting myself, and feeling overwhelmed are part of doing something new. While those feelings gave me pause over the past week, they will not stop me. By Sunday, I will post my second article on Substack, which is the commitment I am making to myself and sharing with you. Saying it outloud helps me. So, thank you for being the one to listen. |
| Golden Nuggets: 1. It’s a process. New Year’s Resolutions can lead to meaningful goals. When you find yourself faltering, that is not the end of the resolution; it is a step in the process of change. It is ok to stop, as long as you get back into motion. 2. Growth feels uncomfortable. Starting something new is uncomfortable. It should be because we don’t yet know how to do this new thing. This is what life is all about: learning, growing, and changing. Kids do it all the time because they have to. Just think about a kiddo learning to read, ride a bike or play in the snow for the first time…it opens doors to life. As adults, we sometimes forget that discomfort is an important element of growth. 3. Growth feels amazing. Publishing that first article felt amazing! The pride of doing something new and hard is remarkable, and nothing else can create that exact feeling. Knowing that I was brave and tried, no matter what the outcome. This made me feel alive. Taking steps towards your goals can feel the same way for you! 4. Create resolutions that resonate for you. It can be easy to make a resolution because someone suggests it to you or you think you ‘should’ do it. Those resolutions are bound to fail because they don’t create inspiration, so you won’t have motivation. Create resolutions that resonate from deep inside you. Like the goal you have been thinking about for months, or the project you day dream about, or the adventure you see as you fall asleep at night. You get to decide what goals you spend your energy, time, and focus on! |
| One step at a time Your first small step is to join my Substack, if it will support you! Then sit down and think about your goals. Give yourself 10 minutes, right now (if you can). Reflect on any resolution you made this year. Celebrate if you have been in motion with it. Notice if you are stuck. Decide if this goal truly serves you or if you want to revise it. Consider if you want to set any goals today. Starting a resolution or goal is not reserved just for holidays. You can start something new anytime. Today is a great day to start something new…if you are inspired to start. Be kind to yourself in the process. Maybe today is just for recognizing that maintaining all the elements of your life is enough of a goal for you. Maybe today is the day you set the goal of celebrating what you accomplished in a day, rather than emotionally beating yourself up for what you didn’t do. Maybe today you decide to laugh more, tell people you love them more, implement a daily 5 minute dance break, compliment strangers in the grocery store, or eat more veggies. Goals don’t have to be big or public to make a difference. They just need to be meaningful to you and make your life better. |
