I love to sing!

Not in the way most people love to sing, I don’t think.

It is only recently that I sing in the shower or on a long car ride. Singing for me is something I always did around kids. I would make up songs, silly songs, about whatever was happening.

It was a way to keep kids engaged!

When I started speaking, I found that I would sing in order to keep the audience engaged. Making up songs on the spot to help reinforce a strategy. Not like a theme song or anything I would repeat and brand, just new songs to answer a question or wake people up when the energy was low.

Let me be clear – I was not a good singer.

I was an enthusiastic singer, still am. I sang loud and from the heart! Not really thinking about the technique of singing because it wasn’t about that for me.

It was something that just happened, in the moment, and brought me delight.

In 2020 I started doing daily Facebook Lives to support parents who were trying to work and homeschool their kids and navigate a very uncertain world. Sometimes I would sing.

For the first few weeks, I actually started with a song. Singing and dancing to help remind people we could create moments of goodness in the hard times we were facing.

My parents watched every day!

One afternoon my dad calls and says he wants to give me a present. I was delighted because I LOVE gifts! I said, “AMAZING, what are you gifting me?”

He said, “Singing lessons. If you are going to keep singing online, you need voice lessons.”

My heart sank. What? This did not feel like a gift, it felt like a harsh criticism. I felt a bit crushed. Was my joy and enthusiasm not enough?

Years ago my dad had taken voice lessons and was in a musical group but all in all we were not a musical family. So I told my dad it was not a good gift and he needed to stop judging me.

With his kindness, he said, “Ok, but what about just one session?”

I not so politely declined and hung up.

A few weeks later he found someone on fiverr to give me a lesson. I begrudgingly did and realized I had soooooooooooo much to learn about singing.

The person who gave me this lesson was not the right person, so I didn’t continue with them. I had to admit, my dad was right, I needed singing lessons.

Then I got in my own way. For about a year, I resisted and dragged my feet in finding someone to teach me to sing. Always saying I would look it up next week 🙂

Sometimes when that happens, when I resist, life gives me a push and a push I got. I started to lose my voice. Each day I would go to work and each night I found that my voice was almost gone. Something was happening as I talked all day that was straining my voice and I needed help.

I reached out to an opera singer I knew, asking if she has any recommendations of someone who could help. She boldly said she was the best person she knew and that she did private voice lessons. I LOVED this answer. Her clarity and willingness to toot her own horn delighted me.

So we began weekly sessions.

After just a few weeks my voice stopped disappearing each night! I kept up with the sessions. Most of the time we were talking or breathing or moving. Occasionally she would have me singing and it sounded great!

I would record when I sang and send it to my dad and he was always so proud! He knew I had a beautiful voice and I just needed to find it.

If you have never taken voice lessons, let me tell you it is emotional! That may be a story for another day and know that it was deep work.Speaking and singing clearly requires feeling clear on the strength of self and the message you are sharing.

I have a whole new respect for singers and the work it takes to share their gifts!

After about 6 months, it was time to keep up my exercises on my own. Though, I am grateful to know that I can call to schedule a tune up when needed. It is certainly a call I have made a few times since ending our weekly sessions.

You may be wondering why I am sharing this message at this moment. It’s not random or accidental!

It is holiday the season and we are all getting so many emails and messages full of holiday cheer and goodness. Yes, I wish you all the happiness and goodness and magic and laughter and love!!! Whatever you celebrate, whatever you believe, I hope you are having a beautiful end to the year and spending time with people you love!!!

Though I felt that perhaps it would be more beneficial to hear about a gift that went sideways and turned back around because maybe you had a few bumps of the past week or received a gift that made no sense.That’s how the generosity of my father felt like judgement and it took me time to see how it was his way of loving me. How sometimes our lessons don’t come as we expect. 

The golden nuggets for you this week:

1. It is ok to not like a gift you receive.

2. You don’t need to use a gift right away if it is not the right time.

3. Sometimes we need patience with ourselves and others. My dad was itching to get me voice lessons so much sooner and he needed to be patient and let me start on my own time.

4. Is there something that would benefit you from learning, even as you resist learning it? I did not want to learn to sing and now, I am so glad that I did!

What might it be time for you to learn?

You are the only one who knows this answer. You know when the time is right for you. Others can suggest and point you in the right direction and you get to wait until you are ready!

I am getting some thoughts together on ways to prioritize and realize what it is time for. As we are about to hit the new year, it may be a great time to reflect and reset. Let’s do this in a way that feels supportive and expansive and celebratory! Stay tuned for more on this…

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!