Liz is part of a big blended family. She and her husband are both the 3rd of 4 children in big, connected, caring families. They have two children with another coming in 3 months. They are culturally diverse, dad is from Argentina and mom is from the United States and the family is bilingual. Together they travel a lot, spend time with extended family and love doing anything in/near the water.

Asher, the oldest at 3 1/2 years old, heard that he was having another brother soon and he was not excited. At first he asked if that could not happen. Liz talked about how he was going to have to be a helper and all the exciting things about being a big brother. Soon he started to share with others that he was having a brother, this is a great sign. Dr. Marcie shared strategies that may help any upcoming bumps by creating jobs for him to do when the baby is here and setting up some individual intentional time together so he knows when his mom time is happening.

There are a lot of changes happening and Liz shared that there are a lot of tantrums also happening. What Dr. Marcie shared is that perhaps while Asher is getting excited about being a big brother again, he is having feelings about all the changes and uncertainty. Liz travels a lot for work and does not always share when she will be gone in advance. They travel a lot as a family. With so many moving pieces, Asher might need some clarity. Dr. Marcie suggested creating a calendar so that he knows when is mom traveling, when is the family traveling and when are people coming to visit their home. Dr. Marcie also suggested creating small moments each day of reliable interaction. When Liz works from home, share with Asher when she will have a break and come out of her office to connect with him. The final suggestion was to create rituals around her travel, routines that she can do with Asher when she leaves and when she comes back that will help him adjust to the changes.

In the final part of the conversation Liz shared that she finds herself getting frustrated and giving in more often, especially as her pregnancy progresses. Asher asks and asks and asks, eventually she caves. Dr. Marcie suggested saying yes more often. When he asks for something, if she thinks he could wear her down, just start with yes. More important than any one request is that Asher learn that yes means yes and no means no. Right now he is learning that no means ask again with louder behavior. This is Liz’s one big take away, to say yes more!

If you liked this episode, check out Episode 5 in Season 1 – It’s all about co-parenting

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