CoParenting and Communication Breakdowns – No More Divide and Concur! Podcast Episode 1 of Season 3
About this episode
Mel is the mom in a family that is on the go. She is married to Jacob, her husband. Together they have 2 children; Mickey who just turned 10 and JJ who will turn 7 a month after this episode was recorded.
Go To Glitter
When there is time on the weekend, everyone meets on the couch and together they play MarioCart. Sometimes they play a game of Sorry or another board game that does not take long to play. Generally it is about a half hour of just fun! These times, don’t happen often. Mel says not even once a week.
Dr. Marcie’s Must Make Moves
1. Have time daily to enjoy time together. Just 5 minutes can make a big difference! When we are having fun together, it is easier to navigate through the hard moments because the relationship is stronger
2. Communicate with the kids about the schedule. Talk to them when there are changes. Often we talk to each other as the adults and forget to relay the reasons, decisions and changes to the kids. Sharing a little more with them can go a long way. This can be done through a Sunday family meeting talking about the week or just a simple update when a different parent shows up at school pick up.
3. We have to set the tone and lead our children. If your child wants more independence, how do you make an intentional plan to give them more independence? Do not just wait for them to ask for something and you respond, build it with intention and talk about how being responsible with independence makes you more likely to give them more. Leading the tone also means that when repairs in relationships are needed, we as the adults need to go first. We need to show up and be excited to spend time with our child, even if we have not been getting along. We need to say it is time to have fun if things have been crunchy lately. It can be hard and you can do the hard thing to repair the relationship because your child will follow your lead!
The golden nugget that resonated most was daily fun, engaging with Go To Glitter regularly. Mel said she is going to do her best to have just 5 minutes of play time as a family everyday and a larger chunk weekly. The second nugget she is taking away is the need for more communication. She now sees how many of their problems center around lack of communication. The impact of vocalizing needs or discomforts was highlighted and she wants to start making sure that everyone knows all the important details.
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